Bad Behaviors

So my gotcha day post is going to be postponed again because of what is a more pressing problem (I think). Lately, Pearl has been barking at me. Like, demanding I play with her by dropping a toy in my lap and barking at me when I won’t, or barking like mad at me while I am on the phone or even when I am just sitting on the couch doing nothing. Then, in the past two days, she has actually been biting me. Not hard enough to break skin, but hard enough to leave a mark. She has nipped me on the leg, on the rear end, on the arm, the back…

Now, she had a steroid shot and was on antibiotics for a cut on her foot and she is also on dewormer, but this is not acceptable behavior, right? And because we are trying to be positive, I don’t know how to tell her it is wrong to do that. We’ve tried time outs but no result yet, although we will keep being consistent with that (thanks for the really timely post from Love and a Six-Foot Leash. But when we let her out of her crate following a time out she comes flying out and starts nipping and jumping all over me again. I try to ignore her and turn away and she bites me in the back. And of course, now, after I pushed her away 15 times, she is lying calmly in my husband’s lap.  He says she doesn’t lie calmly with me because I don’t just sit and pet her and give her attention, and that the fact that most days I feed her and walk her twice doesn’t count. I am so frustrated… I feel like my dog doesn’t like me and- I can’t help it- I take it personally. It makes me angry at her because I’ve spend thousands of dollars in vet bills, training classes, expensive crazy foods, I’ve moved to accommodate her twice in less than a year (or will have moved twice when we move next week), I wake up early every morning before it is light to walk her, even on weekends. Not to mention her reactivity, which scares, frustrates, and embarrasses me despite how much I research different solutions and work with her. I meet friends’ dogs and want to trade and then feel horrible. I contemplate trying more forceful training techniques (is she barking at me because she thinks she is dominant over me?) and then I think better of it- for now. I feel like this blog has become a place mostly for me to vent about her, rather than to celebrate her, learn new things, and all those other positive things I want to be doing. It feel like my husband and I had a baby and every time I hold the baby it cries and every time my husband holds the baby it smiles and laughs (except probably not that bad… if my baby cried every time I held it I really would lose it).

Look at this face... is this the face of a bad girl?

Have any of you dealt with these types of problems with your dogs? Do you think it may be the drugs she is on? Are most of you proponents of positive training methods even in these situations? I have had two different trainers come to my house early after we got Pearl and it hasn’t been that helpful, in large part because she is, of course, not badly behaved when they are there. We haven’t been going to classes lately because we are waiting for a canine good citizen or a tricks class to start and because the agility classes I know of are run by a trainer who is 1) kind of far and 2) recommends pinch collars and e-collars. I don’t think we can afford to get another private trainer to the house and we are moving in a week anyway, which worries me even more with uprooting her in the middle of dealing with all these issues. I just feel overwhelmed and also bad for Pearl because I clearly am not equipped to handle this and help her behave more appropriately. It’s just one of those days where I am discouraged and hopefully tomorrow will be better.

Scattered Update

I am still alive and well and I still own an insane puppy. Posting has been slow because, besides some busy non-dog related school stuff I have been up to, 1) I want to post a review of the aikiou dog bowl but am having trouble figuring out how to post a video because I am technologically challenged and 2) Pearl tested positive for roundworms, which makes me wonder if this has been the problem the whole time, if she has this and still has allergies, how many tests missed this or if she just got them (we switched from heartguard, which protects against roundworms as well as heartworm to ivermectin, which just protects against heartworm, when we did the allergy trial, since heartguard has beef in it. Now I am going, I think, to sentinel, which does most common worms plus fleas, since we aren’t giving her frontline ever again and it is warming up around here and getting to be flea season. So yes, lots of frustration and vet bills on this front that started with a paw sore that the vet thinks was likely an infected bee sting or something and ended with bloodwork, stool samples, and dewormer… we’ve been busy figuring out how to make our puppy feel better. but yes, better, more coherent posts to follow. Speaking of health issues, has anyone had side effects from dewormer that include a dog that is whining, antsy, bouncing off the walls, won’t settle? I mean, that describes Pearl somewhat anyway, but this is new levels of craziness and my husband and I have had to hold each other back from wringing her cute little neck. 

This morning she nearly pulled my arm out of its socket lunging after

a) a bunny

b) a cat

c) an empty space where a cat *may* have once been

No matter how bad she is feeling Pearl clearly has PREY DRIVE to spare. 

Also, I have to write a belated gotcha day post for my girl, as we have had her a year now, although (and I feel horrible admitting this) I don’t remember what day in March 2011 we actually got her, I think it was either March 15 or March 17. Either way, it’s worth celebrating even a week or so late.

And just because, here is a picture of Pearl trying to catch a tennis ball (she can never actually catch them they just hit her in the face and then she chases them and I am caught between feeling guilty that I just hit my dog in the face and laughing at her. She can catch treats tossed to her with no problem, so I don’t know what the issue is with the tennis balls- too big?)

I’ve Been Tagged!

I’ve been tagged! I am a bit slow in responding, but I am rationalizing it because I am slow in real life and would definitely stay “it” in a game of tag for quite a while. I’ve actually been tagged twice, by The (mis)Adventures of Sage and Gone for a Walk.

1. Describe Yourself In 7 Words
Pearl: high-strung, anxious, spoiled, lovable (in spite of the previous three words), curious, smart, silly
Me: haha probably the same as Pearl, she is definitely the dog version of me (except she is skinny)

2. What Keeps You Up At Night
Pearl: The fact that I have boundless energy
Me: Pearl

3. Who Would You Like To Be?
Pearl: The one who is the center of attention AT ALL TIMES
Me: Someone successful enough that I can wear jeans to work and no one will question it

4. What Are You Wearing Right Now?
Pearl: My spindrift fleece-lined cozy dog collar
Me: Unfortunately, I had to dress up for school today because of a job fair, so I am not wearing my usual jeans and a sweatshirt for once

5. What Scares You?
Pearl: Other people and dogs getting too close when I’m on a walk, the sound of car doors slamming near my house, the vet’s office, the sight of the bitter apple spray bottle, things blowing in the wind, water getting anywhere near me unless I am drinking it, and the many other strange and suspicious things I encounter every day that are just NOT RIGHT
Me: heights, getting lost (which I do often), not getting a job after I finish school, not being able to button my jeans

6. The Best and Worst of Blogging
Pearl: The best is all the good info that is out there about the best ways to feed me, train me, and generally take care of a high-maintenance dog like me. The worst is when I want a lap to rest my head on and a laptop is in the way.
Me: The best is the wonderfully supportive and knowledgeable community that has helped my totally unprepared self through the ups and downs of dog ownership. The worst is that because I am so busy I don’t “participate” as much as I want to- for example I do a lot of my blog reading through my google reader on my phone so I tend to not comment very much because doing it on the phone is a pain.

7. The Last Website I Visited
Does gmail count as a website? I am an obsessive email checker, it’s really gotten out of hand.

8. What Is The One Thing I Would Change About Myself?
Pearl: I think it would be nice to be a little bit more relaxed and less jumpy. It is awfully stressful to be constantly on high alert, but I don’t seem to know how to calm down sometimes.
Me: Be more decisive! I am super bad at making choices… I was actually debating what one thing I would change about myself for way too long.

9. Slankets Yes or No?
Pearl: I will sleep on anything that is soft and blanket-like.
Me: I really enjoy being curled up under a blanket. I am ok with slankets but I probably would not use the arms as intended. Also, slanket as a name sounds way less nice than snuggie.

10. Tell Us Something About The Dog That Tagged You.
Sage seems like one of the most happy, fun-loving dogs around and her puppy pictures are literally so cute they make me squeal. Actually, one of my favorite things about her blog are the pictures, she is always having fun adventures that often involve getting dirty!
Gwynn, like Pearl, also has a first time dog owner and seems like he is doing a great job of “showing her the ropes” of dog ownership. He loves snow and food. He just seems like an all around good boy who will melt your heart with his shaggy good looks.

And now to tag 8 others…
This is hard because I feel like so many of the blogs I read have already been tagged. Sorry if I accidentally pick someone who has already been tagged. Here are some who *I think* have not been tagged yet…

Bringing Up Bella
Maisie and Me
Winnie’s Dog Blog
Graceful Greyhounds
That Touch of Pit
Dog is God in Reverse
Snoopy’s Dog Blog
A Franklin A Day

Phew! That was the hardest part! Now we’re tired

Peace

Watched my husband play fetch/keep away with the dog in the yard this morning (and, sadly, failed to get any decent pictures), cleaned the living room this afternoon, took the dog on a long walk in the beautiful weather, done with my homework early and watching mindless TV on the couch with Pearl curled up next to me asleep. Life is good.

Snug As A Bug

Pearl has this new habit of burrowing into blankets. If we let her into our bed in the morning she likes to go all the way under the covers with only her feet sticking out. I often get worried that she is going to suffocate. I mean, seriously, how can she breath with her head swaddled in blankets? Even if there is not a big enough blanket around to burrow completely under, she takes advantage of whatever amount of blanket is available:

Pearl's new favorite way to sleep

I feel like I should get her one of these to snuggle up in (if I didn’t think she would destroy it in a day):

Does anyone else’s dog like to burrow?

A Valentine’s Day Apology

So I owe an apology to someone I love today… Pearl. I have been so blinded by frustration and haven’t been able to just take a step back, see the progress we have made, and get some perspective on her issues. I was clicking through some of the newer (to me) blogs I have started following and looking through archives today and came across this post from Ruffly Speaking that made me realize what a bad attitude I have had recently and how much this is affecting my relationship with Pearl, even though I may not be showing my frustration outwardly. I have mentally been thinking of Pearl’s and my relationship as adversarial. I was thinking: I want to get her to behave, she stubbornly refuses to cooperate. I was taking things personally.

I don’t think that reading a blog post will fix our relationship overnight (even such an incredibly wise and well written one), but it has helped to change my perspective and realize that, even if I am not a fan of my dog yet, I want to be. I want to understand her better. I want to learn to listen to her better. I want to work WITH her instead of against her. I want to see her potential and not look at behavioral challenges as ways that she has failed me or not lived up to expectations. Pearl is not acting a certain way because she doesn’t want to be a good dog. In fact, I would say that one of her very best qualities is that she does want to be a good dog. We are both learning- Pearl is learning how to be a good dog and a happy dog and I am learning how to teach her that.

In honor of Valentine's Day, my two loves

In addition to an apology, I also owe Pearl a thank you. For being so patient with me as I figure her out. For being so forgiving of my mistakes, my impatience, and my ignorance. So in order to stick with this new positivity, I figure I need a plan. It’s like starting a diet- you go all out the first week eating nothing but veggies and yogurt, but you get tired of that pretty soon and its back to donuts and cheese fries (mmmm donuts). But if you have a plan and set reasonable goals it’s much easier to stick with it. So, in order to stay on a positive track with Pearl I am going to set two goals. 1. I am going to work with her on Dr. Karen Overall’s relaxation protocol every day. Because Pearl’s problems are more behavioral, I think this will be better than working on specific tricks or commands. 2. I am going to try to take her on longer walks. Right now, I walk her in the morning and my husband walks her in the afternoon. But because I hate getting up early, its cold, and Pearl is super reactive and loves to pull, our walks have gotten shorter and shorter so now its basically once around the block and done. I am going to try to walk her for at least a half and hour in the morning and, on the days when I have time, I am also going to try to walk her again later in the day. Also, goal 2a. I am going to stop being lazy and really work hard at reinforcing good leash habits and not let her get away with so much pulling (I am going to try changing direction when she pulls rather than the “be a tree” method, which is easier for lazy me but, for Pearl, less effective).

I owe some other thank yous today as well. I am the recipient of an unexpected honor, a 2012 Shivie! Kristine of Rescued Insanity has, in the spirit of the season, chosen to recognize ten bloggers for our perseverance in, as she puts it, “enduring life with a truly wacked-out canine.”

Seriously, how cute is Shiva?

I feel especially honored by this award as Kristine and Shiva have been incredible role models for me and Kristine’s obvious dedication to and love for Shiva, despite (or maybe because of) the challenges, constantly motivates me to keep going when I feel like I can’t take any more of Pearl’s special brand of crazy.

I also wanted to give a VERY belated thank you to Sue from Graceful Greyhounds for passing on the Pawsome Blogger Award.

For those of you who aren’t already readers of Sue’s blog, go check it out- her greyhound, Song, is one of the prettiest and sweetest dogs in the blogosphere. I haven’t been in the right frame of mind to accept this award, since I feel like I’ve been so negative here recently, but today seems like a good day to embrace an award like this and pass on the love! So in that spirit, I would like to pass this award on to all the bloggers who have left me such lovely and supportive comments as I go through this rough patch with Pearl- your kind words have made me feel so much better.

P.S. I owe my husband an apology and a thank you too. Sorry for forgetting to get you a valentine’s day card and not having anything special planned for the holiday. I will make it up to you. And thank you for being so patient (with me and with Pearl), for understanding me and keeping me sane, for knowing how to make me happy even when I don’t know, for laughing and enjoying the things about me that should really drive you up a wall, and, especially, for being so fun and funny and for making me enjoy my life so very much.

No Longer Sick But Still Tired

I was feeling really guilty about whining about Pearl in my last post and I was going to write a post about the things I love about Pearl. But I am still so frustrated with her that I am just not in a place to write a cutesy post about the way Pearl’s ears go back when she is sleepy and lifts her head to look at you or how she gets excited to learn new tricks or how cute she is when she curls up next to me and stick her nose under the crook of my knees on the rare occasion when she is relaxing.

I understand that none of my frustration is Pearl’s fault. And it is not about her allergies or her being sick or anything like that. It’s about what I thought I would be able to do with my dog that I am just not able to do with Pearl and may never be able to do. I want to be able to go on walks with my dog without her lunging, growling, and snapping at every dog that passes and half the people. I want to not live in fear of her actually biting or hurting someone. Today she about yanked my arm out, made me fall down a hill, and I ended up carrying her down my entire block because she was so out of control barking at the neighbor’s dog out in his yard. I want to be able to let her out in the yard without her jumping the fence. I want to be able to have guests over without crating her in my bedroom the entire time so they don’t get jumped on, scratched, and nipped to death. I want to be able to have puppy play dates with friends’ dogs and not have to say when friends have all bring their dogs to a BBQ that we left Pearl at home because she can’t handle it. I want to not have Pearl bark (and bark and bark) at every car door and every person, animal, or leaf that passes by our house. I want to be able to sleep past 5:30 a.m. just one day a week. I want to be able to add a second dog to our family.

I realize this is all about I want, I want, I want and I feel selfish, but Pearl is my first dog and I just feel in a slump with her that I can’t get out of. We have been working hard, training, trying to do the right thing but maybe I don’t know enough or can’t do enough. I feel like we are not making any progress despite my best efforts. I am writing about my experiences with Pearl here to keep an honest record of them, so it doesn’t seem right to write something happy and fun when I am feeling so discouraged, even though I recognize that I  am being unfair to Pearl. Better to vent my feelings here than let them affect my interactions with her. Because I do understand that this is not her fault. And I do love her. I love the way she smells. I love the way she looks at me during a training session with such intense focus. I love to watch her run whenever we get an opportunity to take her to a securely fenced area. I wish I knew how to make our current situation better. Maybe I have a bad attitude. Maybe I am a bad dog owner. I want to be happy, but I want Pearl to be happy too and sometimes I just feel like there is no way our lives will ever run smoothly. Am I a terrible person? Has anyone else ever felt like this? If so, how did you change your outlook, repair your relationship with your dog, and move things in a positive direction?

Sick and Tired

I have so much to update about but I’ve had a bad cold and have been swamped at school and Pearl has been having her own issues and I just haven’t gotten around to posting. We had an appointment with a holistic vet at the end of last week at some point I really want to post about my experiences.

For now, though, I just feel like whining about Pearl and that makes me feel guilty. After meeting with the holistic vet we are putting Pearl on some supplements, a probiotic, some digestive enzymes, and something called enteric support. The vet thinks that, maybe because of her allergies, Pearl is not able to process and absorb the nutrients she needs from the food we are feeding her, hence her being so skinny even though we are definitely feeding her enough. We also discussed potentially switching her over to a raw diet and how we could do that.

So all that sounds hunky dory, but (with the blessing of the vet) I gave Pearl a marrow bone two days ago. That, or maybe the supplements we are starting, have led the poor girl to have a really upset stomach and she must have gone to the bathroom 10 times at least yesterday. We were in and out all day and she was so restless and itchier than usual. I felt so bad for her but at the same time when you are just getting over an illness and have a ton of work to do, it gets frustrating to be in and out in and out all day and unfortunately I do not have as much patience as I should. I know it isn’t productive to get frustrated with Pearl, its not her fault, but it made me grumpy and short-tempered.

Pearl FINALLY lying down yesterday... how is this possibly comfortable?

Besides yesterday, for the past couple of weeks Pearl has been waking us up an hour to two hours before our alarm goes off at 7. When you are up until midnight or so doing work, waking up at 5:30 a.m. is really not fun, especially for someone like me who needs her sleep to function. Normally, we take Pearl out for the last time at 11 or so. Then she wakes up around 7, we take her on a short walk, she goes to the bathroom, and then we feed her breakfast. After eating she will usually go back to sleep for a couple of hours. If she ever woke us up whining earlier than that it was usually because she had to go to the bathroom or something- after we would take her out we would put her back in the crate until our regular wake-up time and it would be fine. Lately, though, she has been whining if I put her back in the crate after taking her out and also clearly doesn’t really need to go when I do take her out. It is so frustrating! I would ignore her whining, but I feel bad if she really does have to go (especially with her recent digestive issues). I feel like I have set a bad precedent by letting her wake us up by whining every morning, as even when she was sleeping until a more appropriate time she usually beat the alarm by 5 or 10 minutes. I have tried feeding her dinner later, taking her out for the last time later, more and longer walks throughout the day, nothing seems to work. I am so frustrated I just want that extra hour or two of sleep back!!!

It has gotten so I am going to bed every night worried about when the dog is going to wake me up. I just don’t know what to do and this issue is making all the other issues that we are dealing with more frustrating- when she is pulling on the leash or lunging at cats or rabbits when I take her out at 5 in the morning I have even less patience than usual because I am tired, its dark and cold, and I just can’t help being grumpy! I work hard to not show my frustration to Pearl, but my gosh internally I just want to scream sometimes and that makes me feel like such a horrible dog owner! I am dreading dealing with her in rally class tomorrow and just don’t even want to go even though we’ve paid for the class and we already missed last week because I was sick. Plus I hate to stuff her full of treats when her stomach is acting up.

Anyway, I apologize for my rant, hopefully I am not the only one who gets frustrated and discouraged at times. Once I get out of this slump, I will post more about my experience with this new vet, who really impressed me and my husband and interacted well with Pearl.

Dog Show People Aren’t The Only Kind Of Dog People

The more I get involved in the dog world, the more people I meet who do some sort of competitive sport with their dogs, including flyball, agility, lure coursing, obedience. All of them seem to have a lot of fun doing it, so a couple of months ago I started looking into participating in one of these sports. One trainer I went to told me that Pearl had a lot of potential for agility. Another talked up rally (the “fun” version of obedience, she called it). We did one agility lesson, but the trainer used a pinch collar and recommended an e-collar, so instead I signed up for a rally class with Pearl and in the meantime tried to figure out how I could make the time with my busy schedule to do the required volunteer hours to join a different agility club in my area. And somewhere along the way I started thinking that to be a “real” dog person, Pearl and I needed to participate in the dog show/dog sport community in some way.

Yesterday was my second rally obedience class. We talked a lot about what to do and not do at a show, what the judge is looking for, and how to prepare for the dog show atmosphere in and out of the ring. Now, I am enjoying learning about rally and I think Pearl benefits from almost any kind of (positive-method) training class for a variety of reasons. However, last night I realized that I have absolutely no desire to take Pearl to a show. The idea of it alone is stressing me out. First, my reactive, highly energetic dog would hate lying quietly in a crate surrounded by other dogs and the bustle of a show. Second, I am the least competitive person ever and while I enjoy teaching my dog new things and celebrating the lessons we have learned and the progress we have made together, the idea of getting judged against others after performing in a ring is terrifying to me. Plus, its expensive and time-consuming. These sports may be really fun for some, but maybe that doesn’t include Pearl and I. And that’s okay.

Competitive Couch Potato?

After this rally class, Pearl and I are going to take a step back from the show-prep type classes. I want to do a canine good citizen class, because I think that would help us work on the behaviors and skills we need to improve on just for everyday life with Pearl to go more smoothly and a CGC is more of a challenge for yourself and your dog rather than a competition. I want to do a tricks class with her too, because Pearl loves learning fun tricks and I really enjoy teaching them to her (and showing them off to my friends later). Maybe if Pearl ever settles down enough I can get her certified as a therapy dog, which is something I have always wanted to do. Maybe someday we will take an agility class or another rally class. Maybe one day we will even participate in a show. But I am taking the pressure off for now. I’ve realized that dog show people aren’t the only “real” dog people the same way that purebred dogs aren’t the only “real” dogs. In my mind, real dog people are people who love their dogs, who are informed and responsible pet owners, and who enjoy sharing their love of dogs with other dog lovers in whatever way makes them and their dogs happy, whether that be through dog shows, dog walking groups, or even dog blogs 🙂

Keeping Control

I thought this picture was appropriate but really Pearl and the other dog in this picture, our friend's dog Buster, are BFFs and love each other. Picture taken by Buster's dad and fabulous photographer Brandon Krepel

I am going to be a voice joining in with some of the recent posts I have read about keeping dogs in control and on leash. Especially since this morning Pearl was accosted (and didn’t handle it well) by an off leash dog whose owner asked if my dog was friendly when her dog was already inches from mine (she’s not, too late), and also said her dog “barks and is super dominant but is fine.” What!? This seems to be happening to us all too often. When we were on vacation, we had an experience that really reinforced how I feel about people needing to take responsibility for their dogs. My parents live next door to a family who lets their dog out loose (they have no fenced yard). He clearly does not have a good recall, so he basically runs free in the neighborhood while his owners yell for him to come back from their yard.

Aside from the risks of him getting hit by a car, since they live on a somewhat busy road where cars tend to drive fast, he is a danger to himself and others when he runs up to greet other people and dogs. The first time I saw him my sister and I were outside with Max, who is used to him and is able to react appropriately. Pearl, on the other hand, is reactive and one afternoon when I left the house with her this dog ran right up to her and got right in her face too quickly for me to react. Of course she lunged and barked and growled and snapped. I was afraid for a second she might have actually bitten him. While she is not aggressive, I am not at all certain she wouldn’t bite another dog because she was afraid/overwhelmed. I backed up with Pearl as quickly as I could, trying to do an “emergency U-turn” but he started following us and I couldn’t wrangle Pearl and keep him away at the same time. It was really frightening for me. Because Pearl is reactive I am very conscious of needing to keep her under control and protect her not only from her environment but from herself. I take precautions due to her reactivity, but if she had bitten this other dog you can bet that it wouldn’t have mattered that there was a big, strange dog who was loose, startled her, and got right in her face while she was safely on leash, she would have been labeled the aggressor. I cannot tell you how angry I was. Not only was it a dangerous situation, it was a setback for Pearl. I don’t care how friendly your dog is, MY dog may not be friendly to other dogs and you are putting your dog and mine at risk by letting your dog run loose. Even though my dog might not be good with other dogs, she is still a good dog. I hate that an owner would just do something without thinking that puts a dog like mine in a situation where she could be labeled dangerous or aggressive despite the fact that she is just a sweet, loving dog put in a situation she couldn’t handle.

I think a lot of Pearl’s reactivity is frustration at not being able to get to or greet the other dog, although the dogs she chooses to react to and not to react to are totally arbitrary and not based on size or whether the other dog reacts. For example, there are two houses next to each other on our walking route that often have dogs fenced in yards with chain link gates. Both dogs are similarly sized and both bark and jump as we walk by. Pearl ignores the first one and barks and lunges horribly at the second, no matter if only one of them is out or both of them are out. Why does the first dog not interest her and the second dog makes her crazy? She also sometimes seems to be backsliding in her reactivity. She has started barking sometimes at people walking alone, without dogs, which she never used to do before. It baffles me and I am just at my wits end about how to help her conquer this. (Kristine over at Rescued Insanity is clearly a miracle worker with how much progress she has made with Shiva with this issue)

I think reactivity is one of the hardest things to address, especially for a first time dog owner like me who knows next to nothing about dog training. I wish there was a way to bring a little more awareness to this issue because it seems like people who are blessed with non-reactive dogs don’t always understand the challenges of a reactive dog or that a reactive dog doesn’t always mean the owner has been irresponsible or doesn’t work to train or control her dog (or that we are unfriendly and just trying to cause trouble for them with our insistence that they keep their dogs under control and at a safe distance).